love lost ??

And they say everything happens for a reason .

so my past relationship has officially come to an end . i fck'd up she fck'd up ohh well . we were always on and off which wasn't really a bad thing . but this time we were off . we didn't get back "on" well we did but it just didn't feel the same . i met someone knew but i wasn't really over my ex . i got back with her to see if things were going to get bttr and to see if we'd possible to able to wrk things out . well it just wasn't the same we didn't really talk and when we did it was just BLAHH BLAHH BLAHH . she was all lovey dovey which was odd because she's never like that . i waited a few days to see if she was really were i wanted to be and it turns out that she's not . at this point in my life i need someone who has time for me and wants the best for me . and that wasn't my ex . she's at a point in her life where she just needs to focus on her . it's not a bad thing .we all have times like that .
IN THE NEAR FUTURE : i can't see myself getting back with her but i'd like for us to become friends . she doesn't agree . i tried to make the break up as smooth as possible . i guess she didn't think it was "smooth" she ended up removing from a friend on facebook and unfollowing me twitter . smh .

[LIFEGOESON]

9.16.2009 - 2:00 pm

" if i would have done this a 48hrs ago ... "
" always told myself i wouldn't break the color barrier. but today i did . "

9.16.2009 i did some things that i told myself i would never do . but aye i guess its a first time for everything . and honestly i've been missing out . maybe because i've been hanging with the wrong ppl . but today i hung with some ppl that i knw , but nvr hung out with . and i was showed some new things . after it was all said and done i kind of felt bad because of my "relationship status." but it's been done to me so i understand you pain (if there is any) . but before it happened . the only thing on my mind was you and what are you doing . but after what was said last night . there's no need for me to "wonder" anymore . IT HAPPENED . IT'S DONE . - AND - IT WAS GOOD.

-goodshit .

so ever since i saw the movie atl
which was like 3 yrs ago . i been
repeating this .
- - [.qp.]

pleasure turns to the pain
lessons learned from the strain
questions burned in my brain..
about whether love is humane
in its touch.
these thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream
in the tears of your deceit.
fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos
of our intertwined emotions.
chaotic because the anchor of Erros' arrow has been plucked
from the vessel of my undying infatuation
separation not as simple as the distance between us
my mind no longer possessed by demons
that have been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies
the seeds of these lies rooted so deeply
they have cracked the foundation of what we once shared
allowing the faith in us i had sealed inside
to gush out like a river
ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts
as violently and as brutally as if it were a child
being taken from its mothers arms
im left surrounded in darkness
but i refuse to be swallowed by it
my lonliness like the night air
invisible to the eye
obvious to the touch
it is cold uncomfortableness
yet if i could do it all over again
id do it in the same skin im in
to lay down and let love die
just stay down and let love lie?
no, no..not i
id stay around and let love fly
even though i have seen its darkest form
deceit
nothing else could taste this warm

or feel this sweet...

-alumni experience .

-friday 9/4/09 . i went to the CAROLINA alumni basketball game . her are some images .



- -[.qp.]

-reflection .

so it's like 1:38 monday morning and all i've been doing is listening to old school music and reflecting on my life . i've done some fck'd up shit and i've had some fck'd up shit done to me . some things that just wont stay in my past they constantly come back to H A U N T me . but i'm determined not to let those things determine who i am as a person . i've made up my mind that i'm gonna move on this time and not stick around anymore . i don't think at this point in my life i have anything to offer you BUT MY BEST AND THAT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT ENOUGH . you don't really have anything to offer me either . we are at two different points in our lives .

- - [.qp.]

-lovelost .

-and just when i thought we were gonna make it . so i've been in a relationship with her(CW) for about nine months and shit aint been all tht great but we fought through the hard times together but T R U S T always seemed to be the one thing that we [ LACKED ] :( . so recently i started go to a new school and she said she felt like i was going to cheat on her . i was like that will never happen . before i started going to jordan i met this girl(NB) [ we were only friends nothing more ntnn less ] . me and this girl exchanged a few " tweets " here and there but she was no one tht i could see myself with . but i guess CW thought other wise . she would always misinterpret our "tweets" and we'd end up arguing :( i don't understand why i just can't have a FEMALE friend with NO SEXUAL intentions and ( CW) be okay with it . she has her select few of male friends and i dnt mind it . i never expected her to just hang out with her girlfriends all the time . the other day me and (nb) were "tweeting" and (CW) misinterpreted it and we started to argue once again :( . so i "tweeted" -- "#itjustmightbeover if you don't play your position" and that was the end of our relationship . looking back on it i kinda wish i didn't say tht but i was FED UP with the bullshit .



i'm really upset that a FEMALE FRIEND was the cause of our relationship ending . i wish we could have just come to a common understanding and maybe we could have reached tht NINE MONTH anniversary


- - "when the pretty girls shoot there gonna aim for you heart" . - treysongz

- -[.qp.]

- - recap .

okay so this yr i started attending a new school because DSA was getting boring so i transfered to JORDAN . i've been at DSA since the 6th grade and it was just starting to bother me seeing the same people every day . it's very rare tht you see a new person at DSA so whn you do ppl go C R A Z Y . so i decided to turn over a new leaf . i've been at JORDAN for about two weeks and honestly i REALLY like it . starting over is never easy but this was hardest easiest transition i've ever made . maybe because i know quite a few ppl tht go there . it's a interesting atmosphere it's been about 3 fights ! lol but i still like it . i've never seen tht many fights in my whole DSA career . long BLOG short i'm glad i'm attending jordan .

signed - - [.qp.]

-thecomeback .

wusssupp world ? it's ya boy [.qp.] i know i haven't been up my blog shit recently but i'm back !!

signed - - [.qp.]